His name is Junta and he has a blog. Junta’s blog is much better than mine — esthetically speaking. On Junta’s blog he writes mostly about cookies. Junta enjoys writing about how much certain cookies cost and which brands he prefers. Junta’s last name is Akiliwombo — Junta Akiliwombo. I’m not sure where Junta is from originally, but I think it’s Cincinnati.

Junta murdered his first wife and ended up spending a total of fourteen years in prison for that crime. However, Junta has put that behind him. Now, Junta is mostly concerned with cookies. Junta’s current wife doesn’t seem to have much concern for her safety. Junta’s current wife, whose name is Dolly, is confident that Junta could never hurt her the way he hurt his first wife. Dolly makes excellent cookies. His first wife made pretty good cookies too, but they weren’t as good as Dolly’s cookies.

Junta has no children. He does have a pet rabbit named “Mr. Rabbit Rabbit” and a gold fish named “Mr. Rabbit Rabbit Two.” Junta enjoys his pets, but not as much as he enjoys cookies.

Junta is forty-six years old. Junta entered prison when he was 26 years old, and was released six years ago. Junta and Dolly were married within a year after Junta was released from prison. They have been married for a little over five years. Over the span of those five years Dolly has baked many cookies for Junta and Junta has enjoyed eating them. Also, they have both spent quite a lot of time enjoying the care, feeding and companionship of their two pets Mr. Rabbit Rabbit and Mr. Rabbit Rabbit Two.

When Junta was young, he dreamed of joining the armed services. Sadly, this never materialized for Junta, and now he works as a janitor in a public high-school. Junta hates his job. Dolly isn’t aware of it but sometimes, when Junta is at work and feeling stress due to his job, he sometimes thinks about killing her too. But, he quickly shifts his thoughts to that of cookies, and the bad thoughts go away. Junta loves his new wife very much, but he still sometimes longs for the thrill he felt while brutally stabbing his first wife to death. Junta doesn’t know it, but Dolly sometimes thinks of murdering Junta as well. Dolly is quickly becoming sick of Junta’s bizarre cookie obsession.

Neither Junta, nor Dolly, know it but while Junta was incarcerated, he was the unwitting victim of mind control experiments carried out on prison inmates by the C.I.A.. The experiments instilled in him an overwhelming fondness for cookies and stripped him almost completely of the ability to exercise even a modicum of creativity in the naming of pets.

I would love for you to know more about Junta and the life he leads, but I don’t see myself as his biographer — I just don’t think that it’s my responsibility. I would give you the web address of his Blog so that you could learn more for yourself directly from Junta, but I’m restricted from doing so. The reason, for now, will have to stay a mystery.

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