Atheists Say the Craziest Things

All of the following quotes were originally written by people self-identifying as being Atheists. In most cases they were posted to various Internet message forums, or comment sections on various web-pages. I’ve been collecting them, here and there, over the last couple of years. They appear here exactly as they were originally written (grammatical and spelling errors intact and unaltered), with the exceptions of anything that is found between: [ ], such are my edits or remarks added after the fact. Most of the quotes found here were directed toward me, usually during the course of some sort of debate or discussion I was having with some Atheist, but some were not – some were taken from other discussions or comments I happened upon on various web-sites.

My purposes for posting them here is mostly just for the sake of humor. But, it also has to do with my personal observation that, among the Atheist community, there seems to be this idea that, by the very fact that one self-identifies as being an Atheist, one must necessarily then be a person of respectable (even superior) intelligence – I think this list will stand as absolute proof that such is not necessarily the case. Now, please don’t misunderstand me and think that I’m claiming that this belief is in any way a typical characteristic of Atheists — I’m not. I’m just saying that it exists, and, in my personal opinion, to a much greater degree than it probably should. I’d also like to say that, if you happen to be one of the Atheists out there who actually does think this is true, well…. I’m looking forward to seeing your contribution appearing on this list someday.

I will try to add to this list as I come across more examples.


– “when i say jesus doesnt exist its like saying way back then that black and white are the same. for me it is a valid argument once you analyze it in depth.”

– “Idiot creationists have been trying to disprove evolution for hundreds of years and so far all they’ve come up with is ‘I’m not a monkey!’ Which is stupid, because, NEWSFLASH: I AM a monkey!”

– “I’d love to see just one of you ignorant christian fools name just five crimes by atheists.”

– “NOTHING should ever be accepted on faith. To accept anything without proof is idiocy. The universe is a like a giant machine, everything that exists can be explained by science.”

– “God didn’t create the universe! Science did!”

– “No, the law of evolution basically says that if you go backward in time that’s where we all came from.”

– “i don’t care if god came down from heaven and punched me in the face I still don’t know if i would believe it because how do I know my brain is functioning?” [Indeed!]

– “I don’t know who this Gould guy is, but he sounds like a creationist screwball. If he even is a credentialed scientist I doubt he’s taken very seriously by respectable scientists.” [Upon being given a citation for, and quotes from, a Stephen J. Gould lecture “Is a New and General Theory of Evolution Emerging?”]

– “the reason i go with science is that it is objective. what do i think science says about the existence or non existence of jesus? well i know science doesnt say anything about [it] because it doesnt know with certainty. That’s why I say Jesus never existed.”

– “We are at a point in technology now where science can either explain everything or one day will be able to. Of course, there’s some things we might never be able to answer though.”

– “The reason I believe in evolution is because evolution is excepted on evidence.”

– “Everything in the physical universe we know of, can be explained through any given natural process.”

– “Jesus may of existed but he never performed miracles, so it is easier to say he did not exist. So, we should work to have it [“it” meaning the historical existence of Jesus] accepted as a falsehood”

– “i wouldn’t say something exist’s if there’s a possibility of it being false.”

– “Theism is anti-progress and atheism is true progress and atheists don’t like that, that’s why we’re against religion”

– “people used to believe the earth was flat to then Galileo proved them wrong so if it wasn’t for him we wouldn’t have shipping and still be living in the stone age. religion tried to stop this!!!”

– “Well there is no arguement that god doesn’t exist just that there is no reason to believe he does. but there is no evidence he does so it can at least be argued that he doesnt”

– “My claim is that no god exists until there is sufficient proof that there is such a being”

– “You must understand the burden of proof lies with the person who makes the claim, but I’m not making a claim, I’m just saying that no gods exist.”

– “My ‘proof’ comes in the form of the lack of evidence.”

– “Just to highlight your stupidity here is another example of amazing coincidence, isnt it amazing that all the television programes were discovered after the invention of televison?”

– “I’d never call a religious person stupid just for their beliefs, even though they are. Atheist have more dignity than that.”

– “There is no such thing of proof of something not existing but proof i can use to make my decision that no god exists is in the lack of evidence for a divine being”

– [The next three come from the same person. I hesitated to include them, because I didn’t think anyone would actually believe they were real. But, they’re entirely real, I assure you. The screen name the poster goes by is “vidfreak56”]

1) – “LOL informal logic is irrelevant. We are talking about logical fallacies…” / “What does informal logic have anything to do with this? LOL. We are talking about Ad Hominem here! NOT INFORMAL LOGIC!” [In a discussion regarding whether or not an insult that had been directed at someone was an ad hominem logical fallacy, or just an insult.]

2) – “Informal logic is irrelevant to discussing informal logical fallacies unless you have a specific topic you’d like to get into. Just like surgery is irrelevant to have open heart surgery.”

3) – “Informal logic is irrelevant because we are talking about logical fallacies here. Not informal logic! Physics isn’t relevant to a concept in physics. Other physics may apply, so they can be used. Math in general isn’t relevant to what 2+2 equals.” [Defending his statement after it was pointed out to him that saying informal logic is irrelevant to a discussion about informal logical fallacies is roughly equivalent to saying physics is irrelevant to a discussion about gravity, or math is irrelevant to a discussion about what 2+2 equals.]

– “I’m a scientist and I can tell you that science isn’t about coming up with new ideas and then trying to prove that those ideas are wrong, that’s stupid! Science is about using the scientific method to prove that which we have scientific proof for is actually right!”

– “I do think I’m smarter than religious people — I know it I am because I don’t believe in magical sky fairies. If I wasn’t an atheist I wouldn’t be smart!”

– “I just hate it when christians presume to tell me what atheism is and how I’m not an atheist but agnostic because I don’t fit their idiotic definition. How do they know what my beliefs are? It’s so presumptious they think they can dictate what I am or what I’m not. It’s typical of christian thinking.” [a few responses to me later:] “But that’s not what Deism is, you need to look it up because you’re not really a Deist. A Deist is someone who thinks god set everything in motion then just walked away.”

– “Extrodinary claims require extrodinary proof. So, even if you were to prove it, it wouldn’t mean anything if the prood wasn’t extrodinary. That’s why religious freaks have no argument.”

– “You’re correct in your assessment of my meaning but you seem to have completely misunderstood what it is I’m trying to say.”

– “but its not logical to say that because you experience somehting you can say its true. its only logical to say that if you haven’t experienced it its not true, unless there is good evidence to say it is, of course, and in this case there isn’t. so its logical, that’s how logic works.”

– “Atheism is to religion what peanut-butter is to toast. If you take away the peanut-butter, you’ve still got toast. So atheists are merely like the toast. It’s a non-belief.”

– “Established science is not open for debate, except by morons. That’s why they call it ‘established science’ because it has already been ‘established’, moron!”

– “I am one of the few people you will meet in life who has written more books than they’ve read”

– “What I want to know is who told who what to write down in Genisis 1. You know, the point? before any who could tell any other who what to write down since God hadn’t invented any who to write down anything from any other who, who hadn’t been created yet. And so on and so forth.”

– “I have the evidence to support my claim that it is illogical. The evidence I cite is a complete lack of evidence to the contrary. Logic is evidence based reasoning. Without evidence, it is fantasy. ” [<– I think I love this one above all others.] [*** The following five quotes all come from the same person ***]

1 – “You are dull minded indeed- without gravity your no longer held in spatial space.”

2 – “with out the theory of gravity there’d be no gravity to speak of”

3 – “After all, ‘gravity’ is not something observed directly”

4 – “fuck all of you theists, i hope all of your families rot in hell”

5 – “Atheists on the other hand, are just a bunch of smart and modest people.”

– “Christians, Muslims and Jews are the cause of all the evil in this world. Get rid of these organisations and there definitely would be PEACE on Earth. Have you ever known Atheists to cause any trouble?”

– “When religious people try to convince you there is a god, that’s shoving their beliefs down your throat. When an atheist tries to convince someone there isn’t a god, it’s not. It’s not the same thing at all. The atheist is just trying to get  ignorant peope to understand the truth, that’s all. They aren’t pushing false nonsense on people. There’s a big difference there. ”

–  “LOL! Think about it for once: what are the chances jesus would be born the same year we started counting years! People made up the story to fit was going on after the fact.”

– “Theres no more evidence that god doesn’t exist than there is that the teenage mutant ninja turtles don’t exist because you can’t prove a negative. Both are negatives so theres the same amount of no proof for both, which is exactly none. But we know the ninja turtles don’t exist because their made up. So, logically god doesn’t exist either and is probably made up. ”

– “In this day in age, everything is on google. If it happened, you can google it. I googled it, it didn’t happen.”

– “Jeez you religitards are stupid. There’s lots of evidence that god doesn’t exist!  just look around you. Haven’t you ever been an a plane for crying out loud??? Go on a plane sometime. When you get above the clouds look around. See any gods up there? Guess what  you wont see any! Nobody ever has. Maybe it was ok to ‘believe’ in a god before we had flight and stuff but we have modern technology now that shows there is no god.”

– “Atheism isn’t the belief that god doesn’t exist… its the disbelief that god doesn’t exist… or rather… the disbelief that no gods could exist. The same way you disbelive in that zeuss exists I disbelieve that your god exists. but I don’t believe it doesn’t… I disbelieve in it. That is two different things. Both of us are really atheists you just believe in one god that I disbelieve in because i disbelieve in all of them.”

– “People are only their religion because they are born in a certain part of the world. If you were born in another part of the world, you’d be another religion. Atheists, on the other hand, can be born anywhere, and usually are.”

– “If your stupid enough to believe in god then your stupid enough to believe in ufos and bigfoot and shit. Have you ever seen the kinds of people that believe in those things? Yeah, that’s you. The kinds of people that don’t believe in those things are doctors and scientists. That’s me.”

– “Atheism *REQUIRES* intelligence! Only religious people are stupid enough to be religious. That’s gotta be proof of something right there; wouldn’t you say?”

– “If your religious you can’t be a scientist because science says religion is wrong and against science. I know some scientists use to be religious a long time ago but that’s because everybody was back then and atheists were killed so they would tell people there not atheists. Some probably still do say that but there mostly pretending because old habits are hard to break.”

– “Religion has killed millions. No atheist ever killed anyone.”

– “Real things weigh something, right? Like a bowling ball – if you dropped it on your foot it would hurt. Abstract things don’t weigh anything – like, lets say a bank account, or a mathematical equation. If you dropped those things on your foot you couldn’t feel it, right? Well, how much does god weigh? You can’t tell me because its silly to think god weighs something because he’s just a concept and concepts don’t weight anything. Therefore god is abstract – which means he isn’t real. See – religion has no arguments like these, you just have to take it on pure faith, it’s stupid.”

– “Actually, the rise of atheism is due to better communication. Before the internet people couldn’t talk to each other, so this made them scared. Atheists pretty much thought they were alone so they wouldn’t speak out. Now that we have the internet atheists know they’re not the only ones.”

– “finding meaning in the universe doesn’t mean the universe has meaning”

– “Wikipedia Russell’s teapot, idiot! It proves that a lack of evidence is enough! There’s no evidence for Russell’s teapot, therfore it isn’t there! SAME AS GOD! What’s so damn hard to understand about that? You people are so fucking stupid!!!”

– “I can’t say with absolute certanty if god exist or not. nobody can say absolutely. If he does though it doesn’t increase our scientific knowledge or help science understand our world. So for all intensive purposes, at least we can say he doesn’t because its exactly the same thing whether he does or doesn’t. It’s the same as if you have money in your pocket and you don’t know is there: Even if it is there you can’t buy anything with it so technically it’s worthless. It would be exactly the same if it was or wasn’t there. It wouldn’t change anything. It’s the same with the idea of a god: it might exist or it might not, but for all intensive purposes its safe to say it doesn’t”

– “if god were real thered be proof. things that theres no proof for arent real. that’s science!”

– “Assume nothing means absolutely nothing, then assume there exists a rule or a “law” “in nothing” that states that “nothing can come from nothing” then it implies this “nothing” is not really nothing because it contains a rule and therefore it cannot be nothing. Therefor, on these grounds, the claim that “something cannot come from nothing” is not a valid statement.”

– ” I am not claiming a godless universe… the universe is quite literally godless, this is accepted fact.” [Same person reiterating their point:] “Atheists are not claiming a godless universe as you keep putting it, the observed universe actually has no god… what is it you do not grasp about that distinction?”

– “There has been scientific tests run on the bioble that prooves that god isn’t real. DO YOUR RESEARCH! WHat scientific tests havbe shown that atheists aren’t real? NONE! What does that tell you?”

– “excuse me but jesus was born in nazareth. jesus of nazareth remember? are you religious idiots that retarded. i’m an atheist and i know more about the bible than you do. pathetic.”

– “Theism was here from the beginning, it’s old. – Atheism is a new concept. Newer than theism anyhow.”

– “Want to know how I know god doesn’t exist? Logic! Thts how! If god exists then unicorns exist. Made up things are not logical!!!”

– “THERE IS GRAVITY BECAUSE OF THE SPEED AT WHICH WE ROTATE, HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CARNIVAL AND RIDDEN A RIDE THAT SPINS REALLY FAST……….YOU FUCKING SHEEP, WHAT A FUCKING IDIOT.”

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