Stop Fucking Spamming Me Already!

In the last 24 hours I’ve received 1,523 spam e-mail messages. My spam blocker managed to catch 1,197 of them and divert them to my Junk folder. But, that still leaves me with 326 messages in my inbox that I have to sift through, because possibly 5 or 6 of them are legitimate e-mails that I need to read. This kind of spam volume happens on a typical day — every day. Can you imagine what a gigantic hassle it becomes if I don’t check my e-mail for a couple of days?

But, it doesn’t stop there. Along with the 1,523 spam e-mails that I’ve received in the past 24 hours, I’ve also gotten 24 spam ads posted as comments to my blog, 4 spam messages posted to a message forum that I run, 2 spam comments posted to my mo-blog, 1 spam comment in my photo-gallery and 1 spam sms text message sent to my cell phone. Again, just a typical day.

Sorting through all of this shit is taking up WAY too much of my time — WAY TOO MUCH! I don’t want your fucking spam! STOP SENDING IT! It’s costing me way too much, and I never asked, nor have I ever given you any reason to believe that I would ever want to incur this cost from you. So, FUCK OFF!

So, if you ever sent me any sort of promotional message that I didn’t ask for, then here’s my message for you: I’M WISHING YOU CANCER IN YOUR FACE! Let it be known! From this moment forward, ( October 18th, 2006 at 2:48 A.M. EST ) any mother-fucking low-life piece of shit that sends me a spam message that I didn’t fucking ask for, I’m wishing you cancer right in your fucking face. The only way to get me to lift this curse would be to contact me and arrange to send me a sincere written apology which explains exactly how you’ve come to the realization that you’re a low-life piece of shit. Also, make sure to include a good sum of money. Now, fuck off and don’t spam me anymore!

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